I'm still here!

So, I feel pressure to write now.  When it's been awhile I wonder what's going on with me!  Am I dodging the thoughts floating around in this head???  Yes and no I guess.  The thing about me is I write as conduit..getting it out here helps me somehow.  So, it's good when I'm not fueled to send my crazy ramblings out into cyberspace.  But, it doesn't mean that they aren't there.  I don't like the fact that most of the time I seem so down or anxious on here but usually when things are good I don't need to spit them out into the universe by typing.  I get to be in the moment and live.  Or is it just that the craziness is being dealt with in another way??? 

I'd like to think I'm growing as a soul.  That I am really using what I deal with as learning materials.  We'll see :)

Tonight I was thinking about regret.  You want to know the truth?  I don't regret any of it!!!  I wouldn't want to change the past because I don't know if I would end up here and there is nothing that is so bad that I can't live with it so THERE!  I have been blessed enough that my mistakes haven't ruined what I hold dear today.  That in itself is amazing.  Makes having kids that much harder though I might add. 

In the words of a wise soul who's looking down on us today - "LOVE LOVE LOVE"  If I just live up to that I will be okay.